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The Cynic's Word Book

 

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CAABA n. A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.
CABBAGE n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
The cabbage is so called from Cabagius, a prince
who on ascending
the throne issued a decree appointing a High
Council of Empire
consisting of the members of his predecessor's
Ministry and the
cabbages in the royal garden. When any of his
Majesty's measures of
state policy miscarried conspicuously it was
gravely announced that
several members of the High Council had been
beheaded, and his
murmuring subjects were appeased.

CALAMITY n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
CALLOUS adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another.
When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no
more he was
observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of
his disciples, "you
weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true,"
replied the great
Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death
of a friend."

CALUMNUS n. A graduate of the School for Scandal.
 
Old English 'word lottery' pick

Noodle : n. A simpleton; a blockhead; a stupid person; a ninny.; n. A thin strip of dough, made with eggs, rolled up, cut into small pieces, and used in soup.

 
The Cynic's Word Book by Ambrose Bierce published in 1906 and 1911.
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